


Inhale.

by syntheticrealities



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-17 21:50:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4682663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syntheticrealities/pseuds/syntheticrealities
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't hold your breath, Shepard. Inhale. Exhale. See all the world has to offer; be all the world needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Omega-4 Relay mission had been tough. Shepard and the crew had proven to be tougher. But now there was a little time to rest, and to simply enjoy the company of another for a little while.
> 
> (wherever a ♫ is placed, links will be included to music mentioned in the chapter.)

Waking up next to him still felt like a dream. Shepard treasured the moments in between sleep and wakefulness. Every time she felt herself rousing beside him, she was careful to try and imprint as much of the moment into her mind as she could; the slack weight of his arm over her waist; the sensation of his deep, even breaths disappearing into the curly mass of her hair; the curious scent of leather and hot sand that seemed to accompany him everywhere. She let sunlight filter so slowly through her lashes that dust motes turned into flakes of glitter and that as her eyes focused, the rays seemed to surround him like a celestial corona. She would never say it to his face, but Shepard thought that the word beautiful most often described Thane better than the word handsome. She stifled a smile in her elbow as she knew full well he was perfectly capable of being both.

Cotton sheets that smelled of fresh things and of him slithered around her legs as she shifted as slowly as she could, trying to get closer without waking him. For a moment, she felt girlish glee as she thought she had managed it, but then his eyelids flickered and he woke properly. From the angle of the low morning sun, already warm, lancing through the window she could see his dark irises highlighted perfectly; she watched with no less fascination than she had that first time half a year ago as they flickered ever so slightly to and fro, taking in every detail of her face not three inches away from his. There was a muffled rumble in his chest (a purr was the closest thing she could think of, but it was too varied in tone for that) as he moved to gently twine their legs together, then their nearest hands. His skin was warm and she ran the side of her thumb over the velvet soft scales on the back of his hand as he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Good morning" he murmured, voice still slightly husky with sleep.

Shepard smiled and returned the kiss softly on his lips.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

He smiled sleepily and moved to wrap a curl of her hair softly around his finger.

"It's no problem. I would rather see your face here in front of me than in my dreams."

A few more minutes passed in blissful silence; Thane moved his hand to cup the side of her face and they nestled closer together, dozing in the thick sunlight and quietly stirring morning air. They lay so close that Shepard wondered if it was possible for their forms to merge and to occupy the same space, atom for atom, for all of eternity. This man, who had stood so quiet and reflective at the edge of Hell's gaping maw so many times, was the last person she thought she would fall for. But on a deceased mother's distantly-remembered advice, she thought not too deeply about it and tumbled head over heels into love with not a single regret other than that there was never enough time. The thoughts of merging bodies and occupied spaces circled languidly in her head and she felt heat creep slowly into her dusky cheeks. _Commander Leah Shepard, blushing at the thought of lazy morning sex._

Thane must have sensed her tense slightly in her personal and quiet embarassment, as he opened his eyes again and brushed a finger over the color that lay faint on her cheeks in a silent question. Her body was so colorful and reactive; every emotion shone on her skin with the hazy brilliance of a sunrise. He remembered each and every blush perfectly and with equal affection.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked quietly, continuing to trace the contours of her cheekbones with his hand.

"Us." she replied after a beat and a redirected gaze at the pillows.

"Good thoughts, I hope."

"Yeah, you could say that."

There was a muffled rumble of mirth in his chest and the heat on her face intensified. How did he know her mind so well? In a movement composed all of lithe muscles and the  sounds men make when they rise from positions of great comfort, Thane propped himself up on one elbow. Shepard found herself worrying that she was staring back into his dark eyes owlishly and gathered a handful of crisp sheets close to her face. They were still warm where he'd been lying on them.

"Care to share them, or must I conduct an interrogation at such an early hour of the morning?"

"11 AM is not early. Besides, it's not really anything important."

"It can't be nothing, otherwise you would not be so reluctant to share it."

Shepard rolled her golden eyes at his thinly veiled curiosity and rolled onto her belly, stretching out like a cat. She took a moment to gather her thoughts before propping herself up as well. Thane noted the subtle shift in her demeanor; the look of her eyes and the shape of her lips framed new and different thoughts to those she had had a moment ago.

"How about I just show you what I'm thinking, and you can figure things out for yourself?"

"As long as you don't toy with my curiosity any further, Siha, gladly."

The endearment moved into the space between them easily and yet it still rang pleasantly in Shepard's ears. Smiling coyly, she sat up and felt the mattress dip slightly beneath her as she began to trace aimless patterns on his chest with the tips of her fingers. Naturally, he caught on instantly and she noted with delight how he stifled a smile to something a little more tame. His dark eyes lingered on hers as she continued to sketch constellations over his skin. How radiant she was, this angel of protection who sat before him in rumpled sleep clothing with her hair wild and unbound.

"You see, Thane, I don't think we need to go out today. There's plenty to keep us occupied here, where it'll be nice and shady later in the day."

"Oh?"

Her coy little grin widened further and her touches grew a little more languorous and lingering. He felt his heart begin to thud lazily in his chest.

"Oh yeah, the new cargo manifests need to be examined, and EDI thinks that with a few more tweaks, the search algorithms might get a little closer to narrowing down the coordinates to that Blue Suns base..."

And so she continued, listing off their chores for the day. Her voice was low and quiet, little more than a whisper and he found himself listening more to the pauses of her breath than her words themselves. At some point in her monologue, Shepard moved to straddle his legs and she employed both of her hands, now drifting along the dark streaks on his skin. To her amusement, she saw how both followed the line of his hips perfectly, disappearing into his pants like arrows to a target; _here's what you're looking for, Shepard._

Under her touch and guiding whispers, his body began to wake and as the sun outside rose higher in the sky, her words melted into little more than breathy sighs and feline purrs. As he always was, he was nothing but gentle and Shepard, resplendent in her nakedness, forced down her impatience in favor of finding more perfect, crystalline memories. As she had hoped, they became one body and one soul, sharing no words and yet all of their hopes and fears were laid out before each other like books to be read. His hands roamed over her body and the curves of the muscles which worked under her dark skin, now the color of a sunrise almost all over. Scales in a hundred colors and textures met her questing hands and when she kissed him, she found him intoxicating. Stars and flickering lights from other places and times were laid like tracing paper over her sight. Love was not quite enough to describe what passed between them.

There came a moment when they finally lost themselves in each other. Sweat glittered on Shepard's tawny skin. As they returned slowly to their separate bodies again, she was careful not to put her weight on his chest. As she placed little kisses along his jaw, she noted how the pulse jumping at his neck slowed again, though he did not lose that little half smile.

"So now you know what I was thinking about." she said contentedly.

There was another rumble of laughter as he carded his hand through her hair.

"Good thoughts indeed, Siha."

* * *

 

 


	2. Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day is kind to the lovers, but it's light soon strikes things which Shepard doesn't want Thane to see...

♫: [Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxU8TdIMpvM)

Before she could begin reminiscing about him, and how little time there was, she planted one final kiss on his lips and hurried into the shower. Once she was dried and dressed, she patiently wrestled her hair into a loose knot at the back of her head and waited for him on the porch of the cabin.

In all honesty, she hadn't thought he was serious about wanting to see a desert. She thought it had just been a pipe dream the same as the few she had; no real expectation for this thing to happen, but the want for it to driving them to keep going anyway. But she had let it slip during conversation with Miranda whilst they were between relays and not an hour later, she had forwarded a list to Shepard's private terminal. She had wasted much of that night cycle trying to narrow down the list to places she thought he would enjoy-Rakhana and all the baggage it carried was carefully avoided for now. Eventually, she was drawn to what was familiar to her. She hoped he wouldn't mind being taken to her homeworld. In truth, she had not seen much of it outside the bustling city of Vancouver, whose darker streets had shaped her into the woman she was today after her mother had died. In spite of the relentless modernisation of Earth, she still heard stories of the gardens of Eden which remained and it had been a childhood fantasy of hers to visit one of these places sometime.

Before she could change her mind, she had sent another email back to Miranda and asked if she could find someplace quiet and out of the way for her shoreleave. A place was found for them and as soon as the Normandy had docked and various shuttles had departed, she and Thane had travelled out to the African continent for two weeks of R & R.

So here they were.

Shepard was worried by how easy it was for her to forget about everything going on out there, in the galaxy, on worlds she couldn't remember by name. When she was little, she had thought the stars and space and the Alliance would be a safe haven; in truth, they were awash with the blood of every race and she had a feeling that no matter what she did, it would always be that way. Putting that thought out of her mind with a shiver, she sipped her coffee and listened to the wooden floorboards creak as Thane joined her. Out of the side of her eye, she tried to find another image of him to store away for later. Sipping his own cup of coffee and dressed lightly in a t-shirt and combats, it was certainly a more relaxed side to see. Her covert reconaissance was going well, until he caught her staring and she hurried her gaze out towards the dune-laden horizon. Thane hid a smile on the edge of his coffee cup. 

As if nothing had happened, she finished the last of her coffee and moved to rest her head on his shoulder. The air around them whispered with the passing of thousands of grains of sand moving with the wind, and there was the distant cry of a sky circling bird. 

"So. What are we planning to do today?"

"I thought you had wanted to know a little more about how to use a sniper rifle?"

"Yeah, but that's work stuff. I can wait until the end of shore leave for that. What do you want to do?"

The phrase  _be happy_  settled in his mouth for a moment before he chased it away.

"We need to go into town to get more supplies. You've already had nearly all of the coffee-"

"Hey, death before decaf, remember?"

He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Aside from that, EDI notified me of a meteor shower we should be able to see tonight. If we take the rover and hike to the top a tall dune, the views should be spectacular."

"Sounds good. If you go get the rover warmed up, I'll get the packs."

She took his mug and headed back into the cool of the cabin. Inside, it was pleasantly furnished with hand-woven rugs and blankets in all colors. The furniture was wooden and darkly stained, but comfortable. Aside from basic lighting and heating, the place was entirely off grid. Shepard had things set up so that EDI would warn them of incoming bad weather via her omnitool, and any important issues either she or Thane needed to be made aware of.

Whilst she filled their water bottles at the sink and gave their packs a final check, she activated her omnitool and waited for the comms light to go green. Once it had, she spoke to the empty room:

"Hey, EDI, how're things going on your end?"

"The Normandy is currently unoccupied; your scheduled a repaint of the hull is being performed today."

"Oh, yeah. How does she look in Alliance blue?"

"I believe Mr Moreau described it as a "kick-ass paintjob.""

Shepard laughed as she reached for her sunglasses lying on the sideboard.

"That sounds about right. No bad weather for us today, I hope?"

"The cloud front approaching from the North should clear by around 20:00 hundred hours."

A pause.

"EDI, how long is the waiting list for drell lung transplants?"

EDI hummed as she opened the appropriate extranet pages.

"Approximately 4 years, Commander." EDI's voice softened slightly through the omnitool speakers. "Would you like me to submit a request for Mr Krios to be added to the list?"

"No, no. Thanks, EDI. Keep me posted on the weather."

"Certainly, Commander. Logging you out."

Shepard dimmed the omnitool and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.  _Not yet. Please, God, not yet_. She huffed out the breath she had been holding and put the thought out of her mind. Just then, there was the muffled growl of the rover engine coming to life and she grabbed her sunglasses, shouldering the packs as she hurried from the cabin, locking up on her way out.

She threw the packs unceremoniously on the back seat and slid into the passenger side of the open-top vehicle. Once buckled in, she put on her sunglasses and at Thane's questioning look, grinned and gave the familiar gesture for 'move out'. Thane put the rover into gear and with more skill than Shepard would have had, maneuvered the vehicle out onto the dust road that led into town.

The settlement was about twenty minutes away at the speed they were travelling and over the roar of the wind and engine together, neither of them could hear much of anything. Shepard hated the sound of the silence though and Thane saw out of the corner of his eye as she activated her omnitool and scrolled furiously through a list of some kind. Then she tapped the radio set into the dashboard and there was a faint murmur of something coming out of it-music? She tapped his arm and made a motion of turning a dial. At his curious look just before he turned his gaze back to the road, she grinned and fiddled with the radio again. At full volume, the music swelled around them and she grinned even wider, straining against her seatbelt to sing along to the music:

  _"Oh, when I look back now_  
_That summer seemed to last forever_  
_And if I had the choice_  
_Yeah, I'd always wanna be there..."_

He hadn't known until only a little while ago that Shepard shared Mr Moreau's love for vintage music. On the Normandy, he sometimes caught snippets of their conversations regarding artists and eras in the cockpit, or jokes made over the comms which some of the other human crew members seemed to get (on more than one occasion, Joker had raced the Normandy out of danger to some dramatic piece focused around the line "It's the final countdown..."). But seeing the way she sang around a smile, moving her shoulders to the beat of the music and closing her eyes to better appreciate the sound, he was in no doubt. Thane himself hadn't heard much music since Irikah's death, aside from the core shaking sounds of clubs on Omega and the condescending ambience occasionally piped into elevators on Illium. This genre (whatever it was) was a far cry from the drell music he knew most well, which spoke in the sounds of reed flutes, sighing vocals and sometimes an instrument which had only three strings. This music was like Shepard: strong and powerful, calling out for the fulfillment of all kinds of hopes and dreams. And also like her, it made his heart race.

In spite of how unfamiliar this old Earth music was however, he could see why Shepard was enamored with it. The man who sang did so with a kind of raw energy he saw so often in her, of fond times gone past and the hope for more to come. He wondered what memories this song brought back for her; did she feel them as vividly as he did his? Perhaps so, if the way she strained to sit up into the full wind rushing past them was anything to go by.

Shepard didn't see what Thane's reaction was, if any, but as the music tapered off and the howling gale took over again, she thought she saw a ghost of that half-smile he reserved just for her flitter onto his face. As they drew nearer to town, turning onto a wider road with other traffic passing by, Thane slowed the rover slightly and it was now quiet enough for them to hear each other speak:

"So, what did you think?"

He considered his reaction carefully, but smiled when he noticed how eager she was to know what he thought.

"I thought it was...Unusual. I confess that I'm not terribly familiar with music of many kinds."

"That's alright...I still have another week to try and convert you to the joys of 21st century music."

"I never said I didn't enjoy it, Shepard."

Her response to that was a hearty laugh and they spent the rest of the journey in comfortable silence.

They soon reached the town and parked the rover on the outskirts. It was market day and the main streets were bustling. They were flooded with music too, though it was different to what he and Shepard had listened to earlier. Infrequent glitches in his translator told him it was being sung in what was likely the local language and something about it brought on a recall. _Bodies shuffle into the temple. Half a hundred voices murmur and tremble into song. A statue of the Goddess welcomes us with open arms._ Shepard felt him stop dead in the middle of the crowd and she rubbed the back of his hand gently to help bring him back to Earth after. She didn't ask him verbally what he had recalled in case it triggered him again, but he saw the question in her dark eyes and explained:

"A memory from one of my pilgrimages to Rakhana. The music being played here is similar to what is played in the temples. It was one of my last with Irikah."

"I didn't mean for bringing you here to bring up bad memories, Thane-"

"Don't worry so much, Siha. It was a good memory, like the ones I am making with you now."

She smiled at that and together they moved back towards where the rover was parked-Shepard didn't release his hand the whole way. They'd had to buy quite a few items to make it through the rest of their time here and since neither of them wanted to carry around bags of shopping whilst they explored the town further, they left their purchases at the rover and delved deeper into the heart of the town.

A great fountain rose from the center of the square (which was misleading as it was in fact circular) and Shepard had to brush little droplets of water off of her eyelashes to see properly. Whilst there, they had a meal at a pleasant little cafe and whilst Shepard dug into her bowl of icecream, Thane discreetly pointed out a couple exiting a jewellers.

"Is it a normal human custom for couples to buy jewellery together?"

She glanced at the couple in question and a happy and slightly wistful expression crossed her face.

"Only if they're buying a wedding ring."

"I thought humans had ceremonies for their weddings?"

"We do...But traditionally the couple buy their engagement rings together before they marry. Sometimes one partner buys a ring and surprises the other with it to propose."

"I wish them the best of luck in their new life together, then."

 Shepard watched him make the shape of prayer with his hands and murmur some blessing she couldn't hear under his breath. How was it possible that such a kind, caring, gentle soul could also be capable of removing itself from morality so easily? She knew that he worried about his work, and that his atonement was one of his last wishes ( _not last, Shepard. Just a wish._ ) but she had the feeling he wasn't telling her everything. There was a need in her to provide him the peace his whole life had lacked; stability, assurance, affection. Ok, Irikah had undoubtedly managed that last one better, but still. The universe was going to dissolve in the palms of her hands and Thane was the last grain that she wanted to disappear through her fingers.

It was horrid and unfair; she hadn't realised she was scowling darkly at the quickly-melting ice-cream until Thane moved to take her hand across the table. To her shame, Shepard jumped. Guilt flooded her when she saw worry cross his face.

"It's nothing." she murmured quietly, deflecting questions as yet unvoiced.

_Commander Leah Shepard, the hypocrite. How can I want him to be open with me, when I can't even manage that for him?_

Thane must have thought the same, as a splinter of the closed off expression he wore when working made itself visible on his face. He squeezed her hand gently and then let it go. Before anything more could be said, here in this place where the air was so seemingly full of rainbows, Shepard had a last spoon of icecream before rising to pay the tab. Thane followed her as she worked back towards the rover.

The journey back to the cabin was made in silence.

By the little frown of concentration on her face, Thane knew Shepard was deep in thought and decided it was best not to disturb her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone who's dropped by and read this so far as well as everyone who's left Kudos or arrived here from the link of Tumblr. I intend to make this a long ass multichapter fic, and now that the first two chapters are up, I will try to post once a week until this is completed. This fic is also going to be canon divergent.
> 
> ~J


	3. Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How strange it is, that the night sky and the ocean's rolling waves should look almost exactly the same. Shepard told me once of a lost crewmate, a woman named Ashley, and how her heaven had been suspended up high in the stars. Perhaps this is why Shepard watches the stars so often now. What would she do if she saw this Ashley's face framed there for all to see?
> 
> [NORMANDY LOG: 4/7/2185 AUTHOR: THANE KRIOS]

♫: [Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJDnJ0vXUgw)

♫: [Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhwwCWkmYoc)

As soon as they were back, Shepard proceeded to climb to the top of the small sand dune which stood to the leeward side of the cabin. Thane watched her sit heavily on the sand and pull out her omnitool again. A moment passed. Thane decided to break the silence.

"Would you like a drink, Shepard?"

"No thanks." she replied somewhat distractedly.

Thane kept a little noise of worry and frustration to himself as he brought their shopping inside. Whilst Shepard did whatever it was she did when dealing with things, he grabbed one of the paper-copy books from his bag and sat by the window to read. Shepard had encouraged him to read things other than the post-humous musings of a long dead English philosopher, but there simply wasn't any work quite like that of Thomas Hobbes. He flicked through a few pages idly, resisting the urge to relive a more pleasant memory. The thin pages settled of their own accord.

 " ** _There is no such thing as perpetual tranquillity of mind while we live here; because life itself is but motion, and can never be without desire, nor without fear, no more than without sense._** "

He read the line aloud to himself; frowned slightly at the book's gentle advice. He rubbed the edge of the page as if somehow he could absorb wisdom directly from the printed ink, but to no avail. When he went outside with book in hand to make sure she was still there and safe, he could hear faint snatches of music drifting down from the top of the sand dune. Shepard kept changing the music-she was feeling unsteady, splintered over things currently out of her control. Music was salve to those wounds.

" _War, children, it's just a shot away_  
_It's just a shot aw-_ "

Another switch.

" _-Faith has been broken, tears must be cried_  
_Let's do some living after we die-_ "

She turned the music off.

He watched her sadly as she closed the omnitool and cradled her head in her hands.

"What are we to do, Shepard?" he murmured softly to himself before heading back inside.

He knew that if Shepard wanted to talk about her worries, she would come to him. Otherwise, best to let her work it out for herself. As the afternoon progressed, he helped to narrow down the growing list of loose ends she had brought up earlier in the day. EDI made pleasant conversation as always and between the two of them, most of the niggling chores had been completed. At least Shepard would have the opportunity to forget about work entirely for a week, if she chose, though he doubted that would happen. The menial work helped him to clear his mind. Towards the end of their work, EDI made what Thane could only assume to be a noise of frustration and her voice trace on the omnitool went haywire for a second.

"Is there a problem, EDI?"

"It would seem that Tali has dimmed her omnitool against my hails. She has failed to respond to six separate attempts to contact her."

"I'm sure she is simply trying to enjoy her shore leave like the rest of us, EDI. I will try to contact her."

He opened an auxillary channel and after a moment the line went through. Tali's projection was thrown up into the air; scenes of dancing bodies were discernible in the background.

"Thane?" she started, surprised at his contact, "what's happening?"

He resisted the urge to smile-she was still so young; war should not have been at the front of her mind.

"EDI notified me that she was having difficulty contacting you-"

Tali's hand shot up to fuss with the visor of her helmet.

"Keelah, it's about that algorithm, I just know."

"She seemed very worried."

"I know! I know! I'm working on it whenever I get a free moment, Thane. Even topside, there's still so much to do."

A moment filled with nightclub music from Tali's end of the connection passed.

"Yes...There is." A pause. "Would Legion not be of use here?"

In spite of his gentle suggestion, Tali had gone stiff. Legion had proven nothing but useful and trustworthy so far, but her suspicion wasn't misplaced. Allowing a geth access to sensitive programming such as this wasn't a decision to be taken lightly. Tali brushed a hand over her visor again.

"Alright, I'll ping him in the morning. But I've got to make sure that Garrus-hey! Put him down you little bosh'tet-"

In a frenzy of dropped-camera motion and static, the connection cut. Thane attempted to contact her again, but the comms light remained red. He hoped that that would be enough to pacify EDI, as the sun was already starting to set. Shepard still hadn't come back in. Orange rays of dying sunlight struck through the gauzy curtains. In the quiet air of the cabin, he could hear every breath his ailing body drew. He was still so afraid; it was shameful. Before Shepard, he could have walked to Kalahira's abyssal depths as if into the embrace of an old friend. Now, he shied away from her at every turn, and it was all Shepard's fault.

No, that wasn't fair. It was nobody's fault but his own, and he would not shirk the blame. 

With a sigh, he finally powered down the omnitool and went outside again. The air was different now, tinged with the approaching cold of night. Chills of many kinds raced through him and he shivered. Shepard was still sitting atop the sand dune. At some point in the day, she had ventured down to the road to collect pebbles which she now skipped down the face of the hill. He climbed to the top of the dune and sat next to her. Alliance radio chatter spilled from her omnitool. The rims of her eyes were red. Again. 

"Hey." she murmured after a beat.

He searched for a comfort and struggled to find one, but Shepard made herself comfortable against his shoulder anyway. 

"I still wanna see the meteor shower."

"There would be no need to leave; we could see it from here."

"I'd like that."

Another pause. He could feel how tightly bunched her muscles were through the thin stuff of his jacket. The things which she called "goosebumps" were rising on her arms, so he drew her closer and felt her sigh against him. They spent a little while like that and gradually the fiery light of the sun on her skin became dimmer and dimmer. Somewhere along that line, her shoulders started shaking gently and she burrowed closer into him.

"I'm sorry-I'm so sorry-"

He hushed her gently and stroked her wild hair. 

"Sorry for what, Siha?"

"For everything-that I-I haven't told you-" Muffled sobs raced through her unbridled now.

"What do you mean?" he replied quietly.  

Another sniffle. "I-I asked EDI how long the waiting list for lung transplants were."

Before he had the chance to reply, she had extricated herself from his embrace and scooped up the little pile of stones from where they had been beside her. Wordlessly, she began skipping them down the face of the sand dune, watching their rippled paths with muted anger and grief. Thane watched her for a moment, not rising from his seat, before he replied:

"And how long was it, Siha?"

She whirled around; for a moment, she shared Irikah's expression of fury, and had those same sunset-colored eyes. He fought off the memory. _Not now_.

"Four years, Thane! Four goddamned years-"

She hurled the rest of the rocks into the air and as they skittered downwards into the shadows at the foot of the dune, she rose up on her toes and clenched her fists and the sound that came out of her chest was part rage and part sorrow but all desperation. In that moment, when the tendons in her neck stood out and her canine teeth flashed wetly in the light, he saw the crashing torrents and breaking waves within her. The sun's light was turning her to the color of flames. She was beautiful, and terrifying and almost certainly close to breaking. 

For a few seconds that stretched onwards forever, she continued to howl and wail until eventually she burnt herself out. The last of her erratic sobs were absorbed into the bones of his chest as he embraced her again. Earlier, he had refrained from fear of being burnt. Now, she was only embers and dust. How much longer would it be before that horrid phoenix of anger emerged again?

"It's not fucking fair." she whispered hoarsely.

For the first time since they had grown close, Thane worried that he might crush her shoulders given how tightly he held her. If her whimper was one of pain, it was the only one she gave. He needed to remind her that she was here, with him, in this moment. Even though lives were snuffed out of existence every second they stood there, he needed her to know that it would work out eventually. Probably. Hopefully.

"No...It isn't." 

He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes against the tirade of memories that were calling out to him.  _You are here, in this moment. Stay with me._  The same as that first night as the Relay had loomed out of the abyss, he felt tears creep down his face only to disappear into her hair. His sadness was of a deeper sort than hers and it's waves broke languidly on a shore that was already worn smooth. He hoped Shepard would never come to know that kind of sadness and that for her, it would always come in the form of raging storms that broke without warning. There was a sinking feeling in his gut that when he was no longer a part of this world, that would no longer be the case. He felt her wrap her arms around his waist and squeeze back as tightly as he was. 

How many times he mouthed the word 'Siha' up to the heavens then was unimportant. But with each breath, a thousand prayers to all of his gods left for the skies. Maybe if he asked for their blessing of her enough, they would do so. Shepard did not need luck, or miracles. Those, she could produce unassisted. As the sun finally set on this tumultuous day, their breathing slowed and their arms loosened. With the sun's light now gone, the stars finally opened up high above them. As if waking up from a deep sleep, Thane let out an enormous breath slowly. The night's cold already stung him.

Shepard felt him shiver and looked up sharply. Her eyes were still red and beautiful, but concern colored them now.

"You're cold." A statement not a question.

"Yes, a little."

"Then I'll get some blankets and we can watch this meteor shower without freezing to death."

She unwound his arms from around her and half-slid half-ran down the dune back towards the cabin. Whilst she gathered blankets, he sank to the sand again and made the shape of prayer. _Arashu, Goddess of motherhood and protection, hear my prayer. I ask that you bless Shepard with all the grace and strength she needs to rise to meet her destiny. I ask that when this is all said and done, I may get to see her one last time._

As he opened his eyes, he felt the soft fabric of one of the hand-woven blankets being settled around his shoulders. Shepard had already wrapped hers around her shoulders, cloak-like, and she clutched two mugs of something hot. 

"Green tea for you and hot chocolate for me."

He took the offered mug and sipped it whilst she made herself comfortable next to him. Shepard had wondered for whom he had been praying earlier, but decided not to mention it. The both of them were infinitely tired, but she didn't want him to stop fighting. Not yet. As the first of the meteors raced across the sky, her first thoughts were not of falling and burning ships, or planetary bombardments. She thought of an old story her mother had told her, before her death had forced her onto Vancouver's streets. 

_See the little lights in the sky, Leah? They're stars that want to be people. So they make the most difficult journey they know, from the high skies right down to the ground._

_Why would they do that mama?_

_Because, dearest, the people they love are down here. They aren't stars yet. If you wish on a falling star like these Leah, it's bound to come true. There isn't anything more lucky than a star that gets to be with who it loves._

She couldn't resist the urge to point out especially magnificent meteors as they passed overhead. 

"Y'know, my mother told me a story once about meteors. That they're stars who want to be on the ground, just to be closer to who they love. That's why you should make wishes on them, because anything wishing on anything as lucky as a falling star means your wish is bound to come true."

"Do you have enough wishes for every meteor we can see?"

Shepard sipped her chocolate and her face eased into an expression of comfort. She rested her head on his shoulder again.

"Yeah...Stop the reapers, give the quarians Rannoch again... Cure the genophage...Banish Kepral's forever." That last one earned her a chuckle.

She turned to look at him. "What would you wish for?"

"You told me once that wishes don't come true if you tell them to another."

"Yeah, that's only birthday wishes. You're good."

"In that case...I would probably wish for your happiness, at the end of all this."

"Yeah, me too."

Meteors continued to arc across the sky. Shepard wondered if this was how they all looked to the Reapers, or humans to asari; burning blindingly bright into one's field of view, shining briefly, then fading soundlessly out of existence all in only a few seconds. In spite of the pointlessness of it though, it was undeniably beautiful. As they sat together, warmed by each other's prescence, Shepard wondered which one of them was which. 

Was she the star, or it's lover?

Perhaps Thane was right. Maybe the only thing she could be was a warrior. 


End file.
